"We Guarantee you a Google Page One Listing!"

If all spam was this entertaining, clearing out my inbox wouldn't be so bad.

This is a screenshot of an email we received today. The company guarantee a page one listing in Google, or you get 50% of your money back. This should set alarm bells ringing immediately. What a fantastic business model, it reminds me of the websites which offer to correctly predict the sex of your unborn baby for £20 or your money back.

They claim to have achieved page one rankings for hundreds of websites, but if this is the best example they can come up with, then I dread to think what the others were.  And yes, they have also bought spaghetticarbonara [dot] net too!

(the childish highlighter pen is theirs)